I have learned so much from you and your resources over the years and this may be the most personally useful thing by a long shot. As someone who has written ADVICE for 30 years and online ADVICE for 23, you finally helped me understand why it has curdled my writing voice and, honestly, me a little bit too. When I shut down my advice giving biz (group programs, membership site, etc) at the end of last year, I felt such relief and then I wondered: why does that voice keep creeping into my writing I still do? It's been maddening, like a tic I can't unlearn. I understand a little more now why and have a little more mercy for myself. Big thank you Jane.
Sounds like we share a similar trajectory, since I've shut down quite a bit of my advice-giving in the last couple years, along with a FB group! God help us both.
I’ve always been amazed by your patience, aka “bland agreeableness,” lol. I largely gave up on editing & writing groups, years ago, for the reasons you outline. It takes too much energy to sufficiently caveat everything you say & it doesn’t work anyway, somebody always has the energy to call you an idiot, even if they’ve never edited an Ms in their life. It’s exhausting.
Two things have really helped me on this front: 1) I came to writing during mid-life, and was fairly successful in other arenas, which means I don't have to care as much. And 2) rather than worrying about the most annoying person who will read what I write, I focus on the few people whose opinion I value the most. If I write for those people, I know I'll be satisfied with the outcome. And the plurality of my readers will, too.
Such a relatable post again, Jane! Loved your passing point about misremembering -- I've had people thank me for telling them X, when I'm certain I've never said X before in my life. I guess it's better to be thanked for something I didn't say than attacked for it!
Love hearing the inside scoop to your vast career, Jane! I hope you will continue to share. I know for me, a beginning writer, it is insightful and encouraging to read about the choices you've made throughout your very successful career. I'm hear for any and all ramblings!
Jane, you seriously sell yourself short here. Your public writing is honest, clear, authentic, and genuinely useful to thousands of people every month. That's a hell of a legacy--even if you are years away from building the legacy you think you want. In this cluttered, commercial age, honesty and clarity go a long, long way. So go ahead and jump out of your literary lane if you feel moved to do so, but don't under-value your contributions up to this point.
Thank you, Amy—greatly appreciate this. What I see that others necessarily don't is all the private writing I've done over the years that looks/feels almost nothing like my established body of work.
I think a lot about something Steven Pressfield mentioned in GOING PRO, where he discusses the tendency to fall into a "shadow career" because it's safer and entails less risk. I value my current career/work (shadow or not) while also seeing how it's a terrific avoidance mechanism!
The “safer shadow career” naming hit a little too close to home. I’ve been ghosting books the last dozen years - after leaving a wrenching, debilitating failure in a career in corporate.
I’ve already been asking myself, “Do I do this (ghosting) because it’s safer than putting my own self out there?”
I don’t know yet, but your use of this descriptor prickles me again - in a good way.
Oof, I can surely check off that "shadow career" box. Or as I like to joke, "Do Editors Dream in Bulleted Lists (or is that just me)." I look forward to reading more of your words here, Jane.
I hate that readers give you so much strife. I value your work, appreciate what you write in Hot Sheet. I told a writer friend yesterday that I believe your voice is a trusted advocate for emerging writers. We are a vulnerable bunch and your journalist approach to reporting on the industry is something I can count on as truth. I don’t know what lands in your inbox, but I’ll have to make sure I hit reply to your newsletter or HS, so you get some love, too. Thank you for being you!
Thanks so much, Marta. Funny enough, I rarely get grumpy responses from people who pay for my writing, especially The Hot Sheet. Probably that's because it's so niche and it attracts a very specific type of reader. The publication that gives me the most trouble by far is the free newsletter, Electric Speed, which reaches the biggest number. Always second-guessing myself on that one!
This is something I was thinking about as a writer who is dabbling into the world of "content." I don't want all my energy to get sucked into addictive algorithms where I'm fixating on my online presence and not actually writing the book I'm working on. Also, I notice there's so much writing advice out there from content creators that gets really hyper-specific and prescriptive about writing craft, and I think on some level every writer just has to go and figure it out on their own.
Thanks, Jane, for your raw honesty. I’m not sure what to say, because I’ve benefitted from your work that I’ve seen (and heard) and liked the human being who came through the work. At the same time, I’m deeply curious about the work that you’ve not shared, while also wanting to respect your choice to not share it. In the end, my thoughts don’t really matter - it comes down to you, to your heart, your soul, your desire to determine what of yourself you share with everyone else. Based on the human being who came through your work, I trust you to make the best decision for yourself about all of it, and that will be the best decision for me. And you can change your mind and play with it as much and as often as you need to - to quote the immortal Leroy Jethro Gibbs, “Trust your gut.”
I have learned so much from you and your resources over the years and this may be the most personally useful thing by a long shot. As someone who has written ADVICE for 30 years and online ADVICE for 23, you finally helped me understand why it has curdled my writing voice and, honestly, me a little bit too. When I shut down my advice giving biz (group programs, membership site, etc) at the end of last year, I felt such relief and then I wondered: why does that voice keep creeping into my writing I still do? It's been maddening, like a tic I can't unlearn. I understand a little more now why and have a little more mercy for myself. Big thank you Jane.
Sounds like we share a similar trajectory, since I've shut down quite a bit of my advice-giving in the last couple years, along with a FB group! God help us both.
I’ve always been amazed by your patience, aka “bland agreeableness,” lol. I largely gave up on editing & writing groups, years ago, for the reasons you outline. It takes too much energy to sufficiently caveat everything you say & it doesn’t work anyway, somebody always has the energy to call you an idiot, even if they’ve never edited an Ms in their life. It’s exhausting.
And yes, more like this would be great!
Totally—I am amazed by the people who retain their patience in places like Facebook groups. Oh my goodness.
Jane, I feel this so hard, and your personal takes are ALL I want to read, no joke.
This aids in my recovery, lol. Seriously, thank you.
Two things have really helped me on this front: 1) I came to writing during mid-life, and was fairly successful in other arenas, which means I don't have to care as much. And 2) rather than worrying about the most annoying person who will read what I write, I focus on the few people whose opinion I value the most. If I write for those people, I know I'll be satisfied with the outcome. And the plurality of my readers will, too.
What a gift! Along with admirable focus. Bravo.
Such a relatable post again, Jane! Loved your passing point about misremembering -- I've had people thank me for telling them X, when I'm certain I've never said X before in my life. I guess it's better to be thanked for something I didn't say than attacked for it!
I know, right? It's amazing.
Love hearing the inside scoop to your vast career, Jane! I hope you will continue to share. I know for me, a beginning writer, it is insightful and encouraging to read about the choices you've made throughout your very successful career. I'm hear for any and all ramblings!
Thank you so much! I never want people to think I'm ungrateful, so I air these thoughts separately from everything else I do... So far, so good. :-)
Jane, you seriously sell yourself short here. Your public writing is honest, clear, authentic, and genuinely useful to thousands of people every month. That's a hell of a legacy--even if you are years away from building the legacy you think you want. In this cluttered, commercial age, honesty and clarity go a long, long way. So go ahead and jump out of your literary lane if you feel moved to do so, but don't under-value your contributions up to this point.
Thank you, Amy—greatly appreciate this. What I see that others necessarily don't is all the private writing I've done over the years that looks/feels almost nothing like my established body of work.
I think a lot about something Steven Pressfield mentioned in GOING PRO, where he discusses the tendency to fall into a "shadow career" because it's safer and entails less risk. I value my current career/work (shadow or not) while also seeing how it's a terrific avoidance mechanism!
Ouch.
The “safer shadow career” naming hit a little too close to home. I’ve been ghosting books the last dozen years - after leaving a wrenching, debilitating failure in a career in corporate.
I’ve already been asking myself, “Do I do this (ghosting) because it’s safer than putting my own self out there?”
I don’t know yet, but your use of this descriptor prickles me again - in a good way.
Oof, I can surely check off that "shadow career" box. Or as I like to joke, "Do Editors Dream in Bulleted Lists (or is that just me)." I look forward to reading more of your words here, Jane.
I hate that readers give you so much strife. I value your work, appreciate what you write in Hot Sheet. I told a writer friend yesterday that I believe your voice is a trusted advocate for emerging writers. We are a vulnerable bunch and your journalist approach to reporting on the industry is something I can count on as truth. I don’t know what lands in your inbox, but I’ll have to make sure I hit reply to your newsletter or HS, so you get some love, too. Thank you for being you!
Thanks so much, Marta. Funny enough, I rarely get grumpy responses from people who pay for my writing, especially The Hot Sheet. Probably that's because it's so niche and it attracts a very specific type of reader. The publication that gives me the most trouble by far is the free newsletter, Electric Speed, which reaches the biggest number. Always second-guessing myself on that one!
💗
This is something I was thinking about as a writer who is dabbling into the world of "content." I don't want all my energy to get sucked into addictive algorithms where I'm fixating on my online presence and not actually writing the book I'm working on. Also, I notice there's so much writing advice out there from content creators that gets really hyper-specific and prescriptive about writing craft, and I think on some level every writer just has to go and figure it out on their own.
Yes, the longer I'm in this game, the less prescriptive I get.
Thanks, Jane, for your raw honesty. I’m not sure what to say, because I’ve benefitted from your work that I’ve seen (and heard) and liked the human being who came through the work. At the same time, I’m deeply curious about the work that you’ve not shared, while also wanting to respect your choice to not share it. In the end, my thoughts don’t really matter - it comes down to you, to your heart, your soul, your desire to determine what of yourself you share with everyone else. Based on the human being who came through your work, I trust you to make the best decision for yourself about all of it, and that will be the best decision for me. And you can change your mind and play with it as much and as often as you need to - to quote the immortal Leroy Jethro Gibbs, “Trust your gut.”
Thank you, Doc.